Photo: LosAnjealous.com
Roller derby is a mythological sport of sorts. It exists on vintage t-shirts and trucker hats. It aired on TV in the 70′s. But the game was a hoax, doctored with fake fights and other gimmicks to pump up ratings.
You can imagine my surprise when a friend suggested we spend a Saturday night hanging out at the “Doll House” near downtown Los Angeles, home to the amateur all-girls roller derby league, the Derby Dolls. I was skeptical, but my friend assured me that the derby does in fact exist.
The costumes may be outlandish and skaters assume campy identities, but the hits are real. It’s like football on skates.
I cheered with delight as Krissy Krash of the Tough Cookies clothes-lined Kung POW Tina of the Sirens, bouncing her off the track.
Most skaters are blockers and they travel around 6 mph. Jammers, like Kung POW Tina, can top 30 mph. The object of the game is to help your team’s jammer lap members of the other team while simultaneously trying to knock the other jammer flat on her keister.
The jammers that really stood out were those who were agile enough to change direction at high speeds. The coolest tactic I saw occurred when a blocker grabbed her jammer and whipped her forward, creating an instant burst of speed that propelled the jammer past the other team. This maneuver is rare, but it’s no myth.
Games last for 60 minutes, which makes roller derby great for both cardio and strength training. Athletes inevitably burn tons of calories, without even thinking about it. But it’s insane. I’m an extreme sports nut, but none of my hobbies require me to carry extra insurance. Though I’d like to think of myself as hardcore, I’ll leave the derby to the Dolls.
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